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Lemmings

By Old Timey Gamer

Score 5 out of 5

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The story of the Lemming civilization is one of hardship and, ultimately, benevolence. Forever traveling across a haunted landscape strewn with thick, industrial-grade piping, ruins that one may expect to find in Ancient Greece or Egypt, and even pits of lava from the very bowels of hell itself, Lemmings face extinction on a daily basis. Certain historians have questioned, from time to time, the ability of Lemmings to not only survive but to thrive. To them, it is quickly pointed out, often delivered as a joke, but at heart meant seriously, that the Lemming has no predator other than its own stupidity.

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Readily identified by a unruly mop of shockingly green hair, a Lemming (Lemmingo Dimwittum) is content to follow the one in front of it--the asexual nature of the creature along with its rather unusual mating ritual would make an interesting future study--even if the next step would cause it to fatally fall from a precarious height or sizzle in a pool of burning lava. True, throughout Lemming history, certain creatures have performed heroic, selfless acts, thereby dooming itself to save the rest. The most common of these feats involve acting as a blocker, causing the unstoppable march of the Lemmings to reverse direction, say, from a path that would carry the group off the edge of the known universe and into certain death.

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That Lemming society has clearly benefited from these selfless acts is not in question. However, a group of experts (that have been dismissed by some as being crackpots), who have closely analyzed every aspect of Lemming society, have made a remarkable discovery: the creatures are saved from certain doom by an invisible hand. Apparently, the actions of a master class, known as Gamers, ultimately decide whether Lemmings live or die.

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Now, only a select few can ever hope to join the ranks of this master class. For to be a Gamer responsible for the continued survival of an entire civilization not only requires a pair of hands willing to hold the platform upon which this world exists (known as a PSP), but also demands a certain skill-set that many find extremely difficult to master, namely exceptional analytical thinking, unquestionable hand-eye coordination, and impeccable timing.

For more than 15 years, I have been a proud member of this select group, unable to stop myself from saving the Lemmings on multiple platforms, from their first appearance on the Commodore Amiga to their most recent on the Sony PSP. (I even have a vague recollection of playing this game in a good; old-fashion arcade in the 80’s…perhaps this is just a figment of my imagination, a mythologizing of my past. Is there anyone out there who can confirm if this was a coin-op game back then?) By far, this latest version is the best. The Lemming world has never looked or sounded as good.


Dear reader, if you have made it this far, I suspect that you have what it takes: a kind soul, no doubt, but more importantly, a curious mind, one that does not rest until a problem is solved--and with more than 150 levels/puzzles, as well as the ability to design your own, the Lemmings on PSP will fill your days and nights for, well, many days and many nights. If you’re ready for the challenge, step right up, join the ranks, and help save the Lemming civilization! You’ll be glad you did.

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